#feels like my entire life was put in a blender

[stardustings]

Stumbling out of April like what the fuck WAS that ?????

[vilelittlecritter]

When I start drawing again properly,

I am so gunna draw sunny going back into the bathroom and consoling Basil about him leaving.

Does it make sense in the games narrative?

Fuck no.

Do I wish Basil was real and I could give him the biggest hug anyone has ever received?

Absolutely.

[lovelesslittleloser]

Listening to the ending song for No Matter How I Look At It, It’s Not My Fault! and I think I might watch it now

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - prologue

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, none Wordcount: 5.6K A/N: LILA IS BACK with a new series. this is the prologue, purely here to give people an insight to our oc Izara (who i already love btw), so not as much paige here, but she will make a much bigger entrance come first chapter of the series. again, ty so much for everyone who hyped this up based solely on the synopsis i wrote and ty for your support! i am so excited for this series you guys don't even know!! this one will be a looooong one so buckle up

-

Passport? Check. Silk pillowcase? Check. Laptop? Check.

The list seemed to go on and on, filling out three sheets of paper, both front and back. Some people called it excessive but to me it was necessary. It was better to be over prepared than leave things up to chance. I had been making lists all my life, I wasn’t about to stop now. They have worked for me so far.

Flipping through the maroon moleskine notepad in my hands, my green eyes skim over one page after another - grocery list, changes I must make to my skincare routine, presents to buy next Christmas, wedding registry. There’s a sting in my chest as I stop, my french manicured hand brushing over the soft paper: Vitamix blender, Ginori 1735 cake plate, Baccarat candlestick set.

Inhale, exhale. The pain won’t relinquish. I bring my hand to the soft cotton of my turtleneck, rubbing soothing circles on my chest just like my mum used to when I was little.

“There you go Izara, don’t you feel better? It’s a magic trick, it takes the sadness away.”

The black suitcase is laid out on the floor in front of me, clothes folded neatly in their own nooks. I keep rubbing and rubbing but the sadness won’t go away. So I stop, my fingers carefully flipping a few pages forward. 

Move to The US

Pros

Good career move?

New experiences

Cons

Leaving my family and friends

Boss talked about promotion for me in the next year

Leaving London

Visa hassle

Expenses

Wedding delayed off

Leaving Jasper (pro?)

My memories of the day resurface, the way I was locked in my car, dreading walking inside where my husband-to-be was expecting me. I had spent all day trying on wedding dresses near Soho, my mom and her sister fawning over Jasper the entire day. To everyone he was the perfect man, charming, nurturing and protective. But they didn’t know half of what I put up with. All day I wanted to scream, to throw a fit, tell everyone that they don’t know anything about my perfect fiancé. But instead I kept my mouth shut, and waited till I got into my car to cry. I didn’t like being vulnerable, for my relatives to see me weak. I had told no one about the conflicting feelings inside me, or the way I had applied for an open position to be a social media producer for the Dallas Wings. That very same morning the position had been offered to me.

So I sat in my car with my trusty lists, as usual. The moment I wasn’t sure whether to write leaving Jasper into the pros or the cons, I knew I had to go. It had been gnawing at my subconscious, making me sick to my stomach. Even according to the list this decision made absolutely no sense. But in my gut I knew had to go - desperately so.

“Izzie, are you done yet? We have to leave soon.”

My brother bursts into the room, watching the way I had undone all the packing that I had naturally finished a week prior. Clothes were all over my childhood bedroom, piles of them standing neatly. After calling off the wedding with Jasper I had decided to move back home, not wanting to stay with him and his temper under the same roof.

“What the hell have you done here?” He chuckles, shaking his head as I stand in the middle of the bedroom, notebook in hand, staring at the half empty suitcase.

“I think I’ve gone crazy Kiran,” I admit with a sigh. Two weeks ago when I accepted the job I had been so sure - now I wasn’t. This was insane, mad, completely, utterly unlike me. To get up and move, to disappoint my parents, to disappoint everyone. I just couldn’t stand it anymore, my life here. Every year I grew older I became more and more unsure. Now at 25 I felt like a complete fool, not knowing anything except this wasn’t the life I wanted. Something had to change - I had to change.

My younger brother walks over, wrapping a hand around my shoulder.

“Yes you have.”

I scoff and push him off. “That’s not helpful!”

He chuckles and begins to pack for me, just as neatly as I had done earlier. Guess being high-strung ran in the family.

“It is mad. But that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do,” my brother mumbles, neatly folding my black cashmere sweater. “I think it’s good Iz, no matter what mum and dad are saying. Don’t mind them. They’ll come around.”

“I wasn’t raised not to mind them,” I chuckle, looking out the window, ours just one of many of the semi-detached houses extending along the road I grew up on. The cherry trees had just bloomed, pale pink blossoms covering the branches, decorating the pavement.

“Funny that, neither was I,” Kiran laughs and finally zips up my suitcase, picking it up and preparing to carry it to the car. “You got everything? Passport? Wallet? Documents?”

I nod with a smile. Even if we didn’t look almost exactly the same (though, we certainly did), it was impossible not to pick up on the family resemblance.

“I have everything.”

-

The drive to Heathrow Airport is quiet. Truthfully, I was far too nervous to speak. I could feel my stomach twisting uncomfortably, a nauseating weight on my chest. I watch as we pass the streets of London, the only streets I had ever known. We pass the red double-decker buses, the abandoned phone boxes, eventually making our way onto the highway.

London is cruel, relentless to its residents, yet simultaneously captivating and thrilling. I had travelled enough to know there was no place like it. Nowhere else I could hop on the Northern Line in the bohemian, eclectic Camden, switch tubes and step out to Canary Wharf, where skyscrapers stand tall above you and the streets are buzzing with men in suits, just in 40 minutes or so. The diversity of the city, the way it could feel like a large metropolis as much as a small charming town all at once, depending on where you were. I loved this city, I always would. But it was time for me to move on at least for now. I wasn’t getting what I wanted, not that I knew what that was in the first place.

“Can’t believe my sister’s gonna be working for the league,” Kiran interrupts the silence. “When you meet Bronny you must tell him hi.”

I let out a laugh, turning to look at him. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s happening anywhere else except your delusions.”

“Hey, you never know!” He scoffs as we pull up to terminal 3, the butterflies growing deep in my abdomen.

“You’re such a guy,” I roll my eyes. “I’m working for the WNBA and all you want is to say hi to Lebron James.”

“Well who else is there, Steph?”

In reality, my brother loved basketball, he was the sole reason I knew the first thing about the sport. But he loved pushing my buttons more - and nothing pushed my buttons further than women being underestimated by men.

“A’ja, Stewie, Sabrina, Jewell? Arike plays for the Wings!”

“Never heard of any of them.”

I smack him on the shoulder as he’s parking the car, making him yelp. He was joking of course, but I wasn’t in the mood. Some would argue I was rarely in the mood to joke around but it’s just how I am. High-strung, intense. It was just me, I couldn’t help it. You know how some people have that spark to them? The kind where they step in the room and the place just lights up? That wasn’t me, and I was okay with it. At least I got shit done.

“Okay sorry,” Kiran whines, rubbing his arm. Neither of us wanted to get out, to face the goodbye looming ahead. So we sit for a while.

“Paige Bueckers was drafted there though, right?” My brother asks, staring at the big sign for Terminal 3 above the sliding doors.

“Yeah, she was.”

“She’s tough,” he says and I nod in agreement. I had followed her college career quite a bit, saw her go through injury and rise to the top again. She wasn’t my favourite player, I preferred focusing on the league - but it was undeniable she was a generational talent. 

“She’s also really fit,” my brother adds, making me snort.

“Kiran, I'm fairly sure she’s also really gay,” I laugh. My brother turns to me with shock written all over his face.

“You really think so?” 

I roll my eyes, “I- well yes. It’s pretty obvious, don’t you think?”

“Damn,” he sighs, shaking his head. “Takes one to know one I guess.”

Another smack on his shoulder, another yelp spilling from his lips. One drunken night years ago I had come out to Kiran as bisexual and now it was his favourite joke in the world. I don’t think he realised I was serious, or that at points in my life I had dated girls as well. Honestly though, I hadn’t even thought about girls that way since I met Jasper. Not that I’d found any girl remotely attractive in the past years, perhaps it had just been a phase.

“You’re going to come back with some 6 '5 American basketball lesbian aren’t you?” He teases, making me roll my eyes.

“We need to head inside,” I laugh, climbing out of the car. I didn’t know much about what would happen, but I certainly wasn’t going to come back with anyone. The time I spend in Dallas would be time dedicated to me, to figuring out who I was, what I wanted. I had no time for love.

I pull the suitcase towards the doors, Kiran on my tail until we both come to a halt right inside. Quickly I check my purse again - passport, phone, wallet, charger, documents. All there. Just one thing left to do.

I turn to my brother and hug him. We had never spent more than a month apart since the day he was born. I had always been the annoying, bossy older sister, ordering him around since he could barely talk. But still, it had all been out of love. I wanted him to be safe and it was my job to protect him. He was my baby brother after all, even now at 23 as he stands 6’0 tall. 

“Take care of yourself Izzie,” he whispers, squeezing me tight.

“You too, and of mum and dad please,” I tell him, holding my breath in as to not let any tears fall, though they’re already burning in the corners of my eyes.

We pull apart, and he smiles at me assuringly. “Call mum when you land, we don’t need her getting loopy.”

“I will,” I chuckle. There’s a few seconds of silence that stretches across us, our green eyes locked in each other’s gaze. We don’t need to say these things out loud, we both knew we loved each other.

“Well, have a safe flight and have fun in Dallas,” Kiran says and waves bye, turning around to walk away. “YEEHAW!” He turns around and yells before slipping out through the sliding doors. Laughing, I watch him, the ache in my chest growing exponentially. It was all becoming real. Me in Dallas, Texas.

A couple hours and a long security line later I’m sitting on the ascending plane, gazing out of the window. I stretch out my legs, glad to be short enough to fit in the seats comfortably. I’m holding a copy of War and Peace by Tolstoy in my hands, simply flipping through the pages, my mind too conflicted to focus as I watch the ground beneath me retreating further every second.

I could see Big Ben, The London Eye, Thames stretching across the length of the city, shrinking until we ascend through a thick layer of clouds, making it impossible to see anything. It’s only then I let myself cry, the first tears after ending my engagement only a couple weeks prior. I had no other plan, I needed this to work out desperately.

-

Jet lag was killing me, but I knew I could never allow it to show. It was the following day of arriving in Dallas. I spent all of yesterday sleeping, trying to let my body adjust to the time difference before my first day on the job. 

Of course I had woken up three entire hours before my alarm went off. So when I get to the first media team meeting of the season, I have already had time to drink two coffees, go to the gym, shower, shave, do my jet black hair just to have a crisis and pin it up in a slicked back bun, do my makeup and send emails and make calls to the wedding venue to cancel it. I was on fire and wouldn’t let a little jetlag hold me down. 

The maroon turtleneck and black slacks I was wearing had already been decided on the evening before as to avoid any clothing disaster. I wasn’t exactly sure how to dress for a job like this - but as I step into the tall building from the busy streets of Dallas I can tell I’m overdressed. Many of the people around my age are dressed much more laid back than I’m used to, wearing hoodies and jeans - and to my biggest shock of all, sneakers.

As I walk across the entryway the sound of my heels tapping on the tiles echo around the building, my cheeks turning bright red. I knew people were turning to stare, but instead of looking back and checking, I rush to the elevator, slipping in through the doors and facing my reflection. Maybe I was overdressed, but I look nice. The gold earrings decorating my ears contrast against my light brown skin and black hair, making them pop. I smooth over my belt, fixing the way the golden buckle of it was sitting on my slacks when a man around my age walks in just as the doors are about to close.

“Hey there!” He greets me, a charming smile on his face and brown eyes twinkling. His friendliness is so intense it nearly startles me.

“Oh, hey!” I reply, turning towards him. For a moment he looks at me, blinking, perhaps waiting for me to keep talking but when I don’t he’s quick to pick up my slack.

“I’m Trey, I do media stuff for the Wings. Basically a glorified cameraman,” he explains lightheartedly. 

“I’m Zari, they just hired me to do social media actually,” I reply, shaking his hand firmly just like my dad always taught me to. There’s a sliver of recognition on Trey’s face as he takes in my words.

“Oh yeah! They said they hired someone new! Didn’t mention you were a Brit tho. Well shit we’re prolly gon’ be working together a lot then,” he says. It’s at that moment I decide that his enthusiasm isn’t fake even though it’s suspiciously intense. Maybe he’s just an energetic guy - maybe he’s just an American.

“I suppose yes!” I chuckle and look over the buttons of the lift. “So, perhaps you know which floor I need to go to then because I don’t?”

“Oh sure thing.” 

Pressing on the number 10, the elevator finally begins to move upwards. I’m fiddling with the rings around my fingers, a nervous habit I had.

“You nervous?” Trey asks, picking up on my queues quickly. Guess I wasn’t as composed as I’d liked.

“A bit,” I admit.

Trey chuckles and wraps an arm around my shoulder comfortingly - or I suppose it’s meant to be comforting but I didn’t particularly find it so. “You’ll do good, everyone’s chill here. Except the boss but you get used to her. You can relax, Zari.” As much as the man’s enthusiasm and touchiness shocked me, I was glad to have someone show me where to go instead of wandering around the floors aimlessly. 

In a corridor full of doors Trey picks the right one, opening it for me. Inside we find a team of 10 people or so sitting around a table, their discussion immediately coming to a halt when we step in, all eyes turning to me. I feel unease settle over me, but instead of panic I inhale and exhale. I knew I could do this, this was the only plan I had. I had never not had a plan B, a plan C before. This had to be it.

“You must be Izara,” a gravelling voice says as a red haired woman, likely in her 50s, stands up. She’s dressed much more corporate, a fitted blazer and a pencil skirt accentuating her curves. I immediately notice her brows, thin and sharp, appearing almost angry. I didn’t have to be told who this was, Trey’s description had been colourful enough for me to know she was my boss.

“Yes, well I go by Zari actually, if you don’t mind,” I say in a friendly tone, walking over in my black stilettos to shake her hand. 

“You kids and your nicknames, oh well. Zari’s fine, but don’t complain if I forget,” she sighs, clearly already bothered. “I’m Linda Halford, the managing media director for the Dallas Wings. We spoke on the phone.” 

Her eyes are blue and piercing, but there’s something about her straight forwardness that feels intriguing in contrast to the excessive friendliness of everyone else I’d met so far. Hell, even the cab driver tried to strike up a conversation after my flight. I wasn’t sure if I liked Linda or feared her - perhaps a bit of both.

“It’s nice to meet you in person,” I smile, sitting myself down on the chair Linda pulls out for me right next to her. All eyes were on me of course, the new girl. I just had to get through the first week and I’d be old news. Good old boring Izara. Just get through the week.

“I hope your travels went well,” Linda says distractedly, scrolling through a document on her laptop. As I open my mouth to answer, she keeps talking.

“Now, there are many big changes this year, and our media team has been… not up to par so to speak,” she glances up at Trey, and a couple of girls sitting next to him who I suppose I would be working with as well. 

“Thanks to Bueckers, we’re about to have a lot more eyes on us. So I hired Izara-” Zari. Just call me Zari. I bite the inside of my cheek not to correct her, she didn’t seem like the type of woman you correct. “and she’s gonna help us. She’s here to innovate, to come up with ideas to boost online exposure and to boost clicks. We need to get active on Tiktok, and whatever the kids use. I need daily content. No more editing videos for weeks before posting them on Youtube, Trey.”

“My bad,” Trey says, making everyone chuckle, his eyes sparkling when they land on me.

Linda looks at him disapprovingly before continuing.

“We are sitting on a goldmine now guys. Paige Bueckers has over 2 million followers on Instagram. She is incredibly marketable, how do we use her best?” Linda asks, everyone going silent immediately, looking around, waiting for someone to bite. Fine, I will.

Clearing my throat I begin. “Well, I think it’s important that while we do use her to get clicks, we don’t make the Wings the “Paige Bueckers team” and repeat the same mistakes I personally think Indiana Fever did with CC,” My voice is steady, sure, even though deep inside I’m not quite certain about what I’m saying. I pause, composing myself - if there was one thing I was good at it was selling things with confidence. Even when I wasn’t. 

“I think we use her for clicks, make loads of content with her but use that content to uplift other players and the whole team. Not just Bueckers, not just Arike, but everyone.”

Linda nods. “Yes, Izara. How do we do that?” Zari. Just say Zari.

I shrug. “A lot of Paige’s fans are young, I’m not sure if some of them even watch the sport at all. So we try to get them intrigued. Not posting purely basketball content, but including some fan service should help with that, incentivise the young girls to get involved with the sport. There needs to be a balance.”

To my shock, when I raise my eyes from the table, Linda is smiling. It’s not the warmest smile, but one nevertheless.

“And this is why we had to hire someone all the way from England, because you guys couldn’t figure this out in this hellhole,” Linda scolds my colleagues. The praise feels good, but I really didn’t want to come off as a show off or soon my only friend in all of Dallas, Texas would be Linda Halford.

“Good job Zari, welcome to the team,” the redhead says firmly before returning to her notes. “Okay tomorrow we are all having a little Dallas Wings get together. The coaches, players, everyone so be prepared to go out after work.”

As I write this down in my calendar I’m interrupted by Linda again. “Izara.”

“Yes?” I ask.

“By the end of tomorrow I’m expecting you to be friendly with Bueckers. You’re gonna be working together a lot, I need you on her good side.”

-

“Thank God!” I groan to myself, kicking off my black stilettos the second I step into my new home. The league had provided me with an apartment until the end of the season. It was modern, nice, sleek but so incredibly impersonal it pained me. It didn’t feel like me at all, the blank white walls, the dull grey furniture. It wasn’t home.

I crash into the couch face first, mixture of jet lag and stress of the first day on the job taking over. Not only was I the new girl, but I was also the English girl. All day I’d been asked if we really eat beans on toast, and if I’d ever seen the Queen - mind you she passed in 2022. 

With too much left to do, I only let myself rest for a few minutes before getting up reluctantly, tiptoeing to my bedroom to start undressing. Throwing on a matching set of knitted cream coloured sweater and pants, I let my hair down, finally feeling comfortable.

Suddenly I hear a loud crash from the hallway, followed by even louder giggles and muffled yelps echoing around the building. Too curious about my neighbours, I step into my slippers and carefully open the door to see what’s going on.

“Bro, it’s not that heavy,” an accented voice groans probably a floor below me. Heavy steps on the stairs are closing in. Two people, I think.

“Lou, you’re kidding right?” Another girl complains, her voice bright.

“You’re too weak, just give it to me,” the other person argues, steps approaching me.

“Ha, no way, you’re just gon’ break my new plates. Ion trust you.”

“Next time you’re getting an at-home deliver- oh hey!”

A brunette girl with her hair down, only in basketball shorts and a sports bra sees me as she turns the corner, meeting my gaze as I peek through my door. She’s holding a cardboard box, full of pans and pots, hair sticking to her forehead from the humidity.

Suddenly the other girl appears, blonde, hair in a bun but other than that pretty much wearing the exact same thing.

“Who you talkin to- oh,” the blonde notices me, her blue eyes so intense my knees nearly buckle. 

“Sorry, we’re being really loud, we’re gonna try and keep quiet,” the brunette apologises. The blonde is still watching me, never breaking eye-contact. Feeling uneasy, my eyes flicker to the brunette and I smile politely.

“That’s fine, I was just checking if you were okay?” I ask. The blonde walks past my door, my eyes lingering for a millisecond on the way her biceps flex as she carries a large and apparently heavy box of plates towards the next flight of the stairs.

“We’re good, sorry ‘bout that,” the blonde answers, her voice now much quieter, less lively than before when it echoes around the halls.

“Okay well, maybe next time you should get at-home-delivery?” I suggest, watching as the girls struggle slowly up the stairs before retreating back into my apartment.

“That’s what I SAID!” The brunette complains loudly. I can still hear them bickering when I close the door, a smile spreading to my face. The first time I’ve genuinely laughed since I landed. 

It’s as if I knew those girls from somewhere, but couldn’t quite place it. Something about them was so familiar. It’s not till I hear them jogging back down for the next batch of boxes to carry upstairs, their voices loud enough to echo into my apartment, when I realise. 

“Paige I’m about to call Bob Bueckers to come help us soon, I’m dead serious.”

“You don’t got my dad’s number.”

“Pretty sure I do!”

Oh. Peeking out through the peephole my suspicions are confirmed. Walking past my door it indeed is Paige and Lou, bringing more kitchenware upstairs. And I didn’t even recognise them. I look down at my knitted set with a deep sigh. So much about being professional huh? I better make a good impression tomorrow.

-

taglist: @wbbgetsmewetter @thaatdigitaldiary @sierrale8ne @lupinqs @lovegalor333 @d3arapril @avvwritesstufff @rosemariiaa @bueckers22 @taylynbueckers44 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @rizzlerbuckets @bueckersfive @wosolipa @bridgetloveswomen @paiges-1vur @slut4uconnwbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch

[blackiron11]

Be careful what you wish for

Pairing: reader x rio vidal

Trigger warning: body shamming, self harm, suicide attempt, hate self (if you find more, pls let me know)

English is not my first language, etc etc etc. I don't know how to write romance very well either, but I tried. besides, I'm sure I exaggerated the amount of "you" written. I hope you like the story

------------------

You are tired of the daily humiliations and an unhappy life, you want to die. Luckily, a certain Lady Death has a few things to say about your life.

--------------

You come home tired every day. Tired of the humiliations at work, of having to report every mistake made by employees, of your boss yelling at you, all for a mere minimum wage.

You even asked for a salary increase, but he laughed in your face. A promotion would mean that you would have to present yourself to the shareholders and he couldn't allow that, you know why; to get ahead in life, you need to have the right weight and the right face. You don't have that. You know it, your parents know it and your boss knows it, because he looks you up and down, while denying all your dreams.

"But you are a good employee, who knows next year?" he says before you leave. You feel the humiliation run through your veins.

Yes, next year. If your size "L" becomes "XS", if you put on contact lenses and don't wear glasses, if you do facial harmonization. Yes, you have a chance.

Your colleagues don't like you either. They focus on your appearance and the fact that you're too shy and introverted. They've never invited you to Happy Hour after work, or to one of their birthdays either; you don't like drinking, but you've always wanted to fit in.

You decide you don't care. But the truth is that you care so much that it's hurt so bad, and you need to do something to stop this pain.

You also get tired of your parents asking for money or wanting to get a boyfriend to you, never asking how you are or coming to visit you. You get tired of not having friends, or anyone to lean on. You get tired of life.

You sigh as you change your clothes. You always wear long-sleeved shirts and jeans. You don't want anyone to see how ugly you are... inside and out.

You look at yourself in the mirror, only in your underwear. You analyze the cuts on your skin, everywhere you can reach, you made a lot of cuts, especially on your arms and thighs; some are older, most are recent, leaving blood stains on the clothes you wore.

Your reflection stares back at you, looking amused. You hug yourself, trying to hide from your own gaze, but to no avail. You feel dirty, your sagging skin falling apart in tour hands.

In a world where there are Avengers, supreme wizards, witches, heroes and villains, you feel like nothing. You are nobody.

With no desire at all, you take a shower, using a sponge forcefully on your body, as if that would wash away all the extra pounds. Your hard movement causes the fresh cuts to reopen and you see blood going down the drain along with the soap and water. You are numb.

You remember the ways to calm down your therapist taught you, but they don't work. They never did.

When you see your sleeping pills, you decide that this suffering is no longer worth it. You are not worth it. This will be the first and last time you put yourself first.

You won't leave any letters or explanations, it's not necessary. No one will miss you.

You gather all the medicines you can find and put them in the blender along with the alcohol, there's no going back. You know won't be, you don't want to go back.

No amount of stomach pumping will solve it, in case some gossipy neighbor decides to help you. You've made sure of that.

You need peace. If what's necessary for that is for you to face death, you'll do it with a smile on your face.

You put on the first pajamas you find and drink the entire contents of the glass, grimacing and choking as the liquid burns your throat.

Finally, you lie down on your bed one last time, ready for a dreamless sleep, and then, never to wake up again.

-----------

You opened your eyes, still groggy, and found a vision. A woman in a black robe stared at you. You just thought she was beautiful.

Y/N doesn't believe in God; But if there is an afterlife, you always thought you would be punished for killing yourself. At the very least, you are at the Valley of Suicides, and would suffer in mourning for ages. Either that, or you would go to hell.

However, looking at this woman in front of you, you thought you were in paradise.

The figure softened her expression, smiling a little bit, as if she had heard your thoughts, but soon closed herself off.

"Why did you do that?" she asked you, worried.

Y/N couldn't understand where she was or who that woman was... Maybe she was a neighbor? She thinks she's never seen you in her life, but her vision betrays you, completely blurred.

"I didn't mean to," you answered automatically, not used to someone talking to you for more than five minutes.

The woman didn't believe you. Rio saw your arms and the scarred cuts, but chose not to comment; she didn't want to scare you.

It wasn't the first time Rio had been called to a death by suicide and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but you were intriguing. Usually the others had someone by their side, but you were alone. She didn't want to leave you like this, not when you looked so fragile.

"Who are you?" Your conscience was leaving you, but you wanted to understand.

"I'm Lady Death , my dear." Rio approached you. "I'm here, because you called me."

Was that supposed to make sense? No coherent thought was going through your mind, the various medicines you had swallowed doing their job.

"Am I still alive?" You asked rhetorically, before your body shut down from the pressure.

Rio sighed, wondering where she had gotten herself into.

As the natural order of all things, she could simply heal you and leave, but that wouldn't solve anything. Death can't heal someone's psyche; and once your senses returned, you would try to kill yourself again. Rio couldn't let that happen. She would help you, even if it meant saving you from yourself.

---------------

For weeks, Rio healed your stomach and your injuries a little at a time, and you were getting better, with no more risk of complications because of it in the future.

She would make you food, wake you up and help you to eat, staying with you until you fell asleep again, your body still very weak.

She started to notice you more, how you slept peacefully, the dimples that formed on your face when you smiled, or how your eyes looked at her curiously, even though you couldn't hold a coherent conversation for long.

You don't remember any of this. Your consciousness came and gone the whole time.

-------------

Until one day, you woke up completely lucid. On autopilot, you went to get ready for work and saw yourself in the mirror. You were horrified when you remembered...

You...were alive? You're not even good enough to kill yourself, my God! How is that possible?

You wanted to scream, throw yourself off the building, hit your head hard against the wall until blood came out, anything. You were confused, your mind was all jumbled up. You had planned everything!! Did someone save you??? Why would someone do this?

You were going to puke. You ran to the bathroom, trying to hold on to the walls, shaking. You needed to calm down. You needed to understand what was happening.

The easiest thing to calm you down was your old friend; but when you made the first cut, you noticed that all the others were missing.

No. No. NO!

This can't be happening. It's a nightmare, right? A medication-induced nightmare. Soon it will all pass and you will be dead. Just as it should be.

Meanwhile, you made all the cuts you could, your hand shaking more and more. It didn't work, you hadn't calmed down.

You got up with unsteady steps and went to the kitchen, looking for a knife. You couldn't find one. You also didn't notice the presence behind you, until she spoke to you, her tone mild.

"You need to stop this, Y/N."

Rio was collecting some bodies from the other side of the world, when she felt a tug towards you. You needed her. She hoped it wasn't too late.

"Leave me alone," you shouted, feeling your eyes water. Rio tried to get closer to you, but you backed away. It took you a while to remember who she was, but the clothes she was wearing helped. Death... you almost didn't believe it. You felt betrayed. The only being you thought would truly welcome you with open arms took everything you had; including your reminders.

"You... You saved me," you accused her. Rio had the decency to look guilty. "You took away my free will, you healed me without my permission! You hurt me more than anyone else, you took everything I had." Y/N cried freely now. Tears blurred her vision.

Rio knew what you were talking about. It hurt her that you felt that way. She never wanted to hurt you, only to help you. Lady Death wished she had permission to kill everyone who hurt you throughout your life.

"You don't need them, Y/N." Rio still spoke softly, you could barely hear her.

"Why do you care?"

"I... I fell in love with you." Rio admitted what she had been thinking for days. At some point while taking care of you, she fell in love. Death had never loved anyone before.

Y/N stared at her, motionless. Then, she laughed.

"Is this some kind of joke?" she asked when she caught her breath. Rio shook her head. "Some kind of dirty game between the cosmic entities to attract the weak human's attention?" Rio shook her head once more.

"Seriously, look at me," you shouted, not understanding.

And Rio looked at you. Even with your face red from crying so much, even with the fresh cuts and so much self-loathing, Death found you beautiful.

"I'm looking at," Rio whispered. His heart heavy with your suffering.

"No!" Y/N thought Rio didn't understand. "Look at me!," you shouted with contempt this time. "How can someone like you fall for something like this?" you pointed to yourself.

Rio saw you, she understood you more than you remember. You talked a few times, even with the loose and incoherent words, Death heard you. And she was saddened by every word you said. With the self-loathing that society forced upon you at every step of your life.

Vidal didn't know how to calm you down, so she did the only thing that came to her mind at the moment. She ran to you, grabbed your face and kissed you on the mouth.

It was just a light brush of lips. Rio wanted to show you that she liked you, but you hadn't stopped talking. She wanted you to listen now.

"I see you, S/N" the woman in front of you tried to wipe away your tears, in vain. They kept coming freely. "I see you and I understand you" you found yourself relaxing your face towards the hand that caressed you. "I want to kill all those idiots who once hurt you, because you, Y/N Y/S, are an incredible woman. And not a "it thing", I am sure".

You wanted to complain, but Rio didn't let you. She wasn't finished.

"S/N, you're so sweet, so selfless, you have such a good heart" Rio continued. "Never believe anyone who tells you otherwise, because you are beautiful. Beautiful inside and out. Your life is worth living" by the look she gave you, you saw the truth in her eyes. She truly believed the words she said, even if you didn't. "I think you are the prettiest girl in the world, and The Death doesn't lies, sweetie".

Y/N couldn't answer, your body gave out and you passed out. Rio caught you before you fell and carried you to your bed.

"It's okay, my love" Rio whispered, kissing you on the forehead "I can be strong for both of us, until you make it"

-------

You woke up completely healed. Rio would leave you alone now, if you wish. It would break her heart, but she wanted you happy.

You didn't need to look around to know she was still there.

"Are you ever going to leave?" You stood up, sitting up.

"Only if you want to" Rio approached you, this time you didn't back away, but you didn't answer her.

With the physical healing, you began to remember the previous weeks and found yourself enjoying her presence; the moments you spent together. A smile escaped your lips and it did not go unnoticed by Rio.

"May I?" Vidal pointed to the space next to you and you nodded. You felt the bed sink with the new weight, and you looked down at your hands; you were suddenly embarrassed, very aware of yesterday's closeness.

"Thank you," you thanked, realizing that the cuts from yesterday were still present on your skin.

Rio nodded. "I apologize for before, I shouldn't have done that without your permission, if they were important to you."

Rio didn't apologize for saving your life. That, she didn't regret it for a second. She would do it again if she had to, but Rio really hoped it was the first and last time.

Y/N didn't answer, instead asking another question.

"Do you really like me?" You were afraid of the answer, both the "yes" and the "no."

"Yes, I do." That simple sentence made Y/N look into Vidal's soft eyes. You saw the same thing as yesterday: Unconditional love. You still.don't know how it's possible for Death to fall in love with someone like you, "And I want to be with you."

You opened your mouth, but quickly closed it. Everything that had happened to you flashed through your mind.

"The heart doesn't choose who it falls in love with, Y/N." Rio realized that you were afraid of getting hurt again, maybe it would be better to leave you alone.

"You don't have to answer, dear. I won't take up any more of your time." Death stood up, ready to leave and never see you again, if that was what you wanted.

"Wait..." you asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper, "stay." You grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.

Rio turned around and listened carefully.

"I... I like your company." you continued.

The "I like you too" was still stuck in your throat. You couldn't say it yet, it was too early. Fortunately, Death is a patient being.

"And from what I remember these past few weeks, I had a lot of fun with you," you sighed. "But I can't return your love." You looked at the floor, embarrassed. "I don't know how to love someone or be loved, I don't even know how to love myself."

Rio was silent for a few minutes. Y/N was sure she had lost her chance at happiness.

"Oh, darling," Rio knelt in front of you and caressed your face, softly. You could get used to this every day. "I can teach you to love yourself, like I love you...if you let me. I want to spend my eternity by your side."

Her eyes were so beautiful and bright, you could get lost in their immensity. You could love her over time, you know that. You just have to let yourself.

You nodded slightly and Rio smiled, moving closer.

"May I?" She asked for the second time that day, but this time it was to kiss you. You smiled, taking the initiative now.

It would be a long journey for the two of you, with some ups and downs, but Y/N would never feel hated again. Rio Vidal would kill everyone before they had the chance to hurt you.

[youredreamingofroo]

On Repeat

// Click for HQ

Whew,,, I finally finished these! Thank you @elderwisp / @elksun / @living-undead / @dejasenti99 AND @yukikocloud FOR THE TAGS!!!! Holy wow :0

Tagging :

@circusjuney / @butteredfrogs / @mmonetsims / @flovoid

@birdietrait / @venriliz / @retrotrait / @mattodore

plus anyone else who wants to do this! Also feel free to ignore esp if you've alr done this, idk who has and hasn't im sorry 😭😭

// Extras under the cut - below is very long, so open w/ caution if you don't wanna scroll a lot 😭

This has taken the piss outta me (albeit fun), so i'm kinda just gonna explain how I think the featured line in particular is akin to the OC/Ship and not the entire song... as much as I'd love to 😭 Also it's just SUPER hard (for me) to find songs that I relate to my OCs, lyrics as well so skdjhnsjk

Roo's Song Oil & Water by Origami Button "When did I become like the ones I never thought I'd welcome in my home"

The above line in particular is quite literally Roo in the current story/character arc- He's looking at himself from a third person view and going "Oh. I am what I hate." He's looking at his old self, in college, and how he treated Leo, to now, looking at his present self and seeing the way he creeps on Leo, how he clings to him despite being several states over. Roo looks at the progression of his stalker-ish behavior, his obsession, how it went from just general clinginess that Leo could bear, to something completely unbearable after 7 years of no contact, it saddens him. So taking it quite literally, if he was at his own door and he knew how awful he was, he would slam the door on himself. A painful self reflection for him :')

Leo's Song Truth or Dare by Ricky Montgomery "Hiding in the closet, trying not to vomit, didn't even want it"

The entire first verse for this song can be applicable to Leo. As a teenager (15-16), Leo went HEAVY on drugs as a form of escapism from his parents, of course they'd always find him and get on his ass HARD for doing that shit. After a while of being sober, Leo started going to house parties, great idea- Flash forward to his third house party, and he finally cut his year long sober streak for drugs. as many as he could fit in his body. He had terrible influences around him so they encouraged him to do this shit, it didn't take long for his body to feel the god awful effects of taking so many drugs, so he ended up in the bathroom for a while- He tried to hold back the vomit because he was,,, partially enjoying his high, but he couldn't hold it back for long and ended up passing out, but not before nearly gutting himself from vomiting so much. Cut forward in time, and people got worried, bashed open the bathroom door and found Leo's unconscious body slumped over the toilet 🙃 Obv he came out fine, but it's a major moment in his life, because looking back on it, he realizes that wasn't what he wanted, he just wanted attention, he wanted to be cool, he wanted to be rebellious, but he didn't want to (nearly) kill himself. The render isn't one-to-one with the situation, but the lyrics are accurate so :3

Onia's Song Bloodstream by Soccer Mommy Scene used in render "Now a river runs red from my knuckles into the sink and there's a pale girl staring through the mirror at me"

Overall, the song talks about how the artist (Soccer Mommy) has lost her childhood innocence and how she wants to go back to her childhood and putting Onia's Sheep in Wolf's clothing motif aside, Onia misses being a child, and misses not knowing the pain and burden of being the complete opposite of what her parents wanted, so she spirals over this a lot, and like the lyrics say, "a river runs red from my knuckles into the sink," She tends to lean towards harming herself, in this case, her hands, and her knuckles- I can't draw or simulate blood in either blender or GIMP, so the red light is supposed to simulate the blood-sodden sink that she's standing over, and of course, "pale girl," is Onia, she's staring at herself, but additionally I like to think she's staring past the mirror, or staring through it (wink wink), she's spacing out and thinking about who she should've been, or who she could've been.

Hero's Song Following Eyes by Soccer Mommy "An awful feeling started creeping over me and what I saw was like no horror I had seen"

I'm keeping this short and sweet. It's not easy to find a song (that I like) that's about being haunted or cursed so. I had to re-use her song from her intro post, which isn't bad, but I did hope to find a new song kdsjhnsjk Anyways. Hero's cursed, pretty much anywhere she goes, she is forced to perceive ~the horrors~, sometimes she's forced into a blank space, a void (SOMETIMES,,, not a lot,,, rarely moreso), where she'll be tormented for who even knows how long, this moment in particular, she was walking along this catwalk in the dark, she eventually felt something that felt similar to someone dragging their fingers up your spine, in a moment of fear, she turned around and just. saw. She looked onto this,,, being, what she saw was "like no horror I had seen,,," Although to be fair, the creature isn't all that horrifying (which in my defense.. I'm a blender novice so </333)

The Hiraeth Song Nomu by Good Kid "Four eyes entwined draw four separate lines and none of them point to you"

I think this song overall is a perfect example of Roo and Leo's relationship both after Leo's confession and after Roo tried to reconnect with Leo. After Leo confessed, he tried to keep their relationship going, but it didn't work out, so he gave up (Roo didn't realize Leo was pulling such a weight and he just let their friendship fall out) After Roo tried to reconnect (aka the CURRENT storyline), Roo has been trying to keep things together and has been trying to make things work, but Leo has long-since given up on their friendship as a whole. Now in terms of the lyric above; Post-Confession, every conversation they had together would not be the same, they couldn't look each other in the eyes, their eyes would connect momentarily and separate almost immediately; Nowadays, if they WERE to be living together or near each other, they just would NOT be able to talk to each other, because Leo would be fed up with Roo and trying to avoid as much eye contact and general verbal+physical contact as possible with him. Roo, on the other hand, is just terrible with eye contact so he would have a terrible time trying to engage in eye contact with Leo.

The Ithanel / It's All Wrong Song From Eden by Hozier "Babe there's something broken about this but I might be hoping about this oh what a sin"

Ithuriel and Nanel's entire relationship is inherently toxic, they are not toxic to each other, but the underlying (or moreso, the OVERWHELMING OVERLYING) dangers of this relationship makes it toxic, broken in a way. Nanel risks her life going to see Ithuriel outside of work-related interactions and Ithuriel risks her life by just. seeing, talking to and loving Nanel. Whether they know (they do) or care (they dont) about these dangers, they still want this relationship, they live on, literal, prayers that they are not caught and that they can continue to love each other in peace, but overall, their relationship, in the eyes of the heavenly council (ehhh W.I.P term for IAW lore stuff), is a sin, and nothing but a sin.

Ithuriel's Song What You Mean by Rome Hero Foxes "Cause every little god damn thing you do makes me wanna get close to you"

The lyrics speak for themselves... Ithuriel is very dedicated to Nanel, and literally every waking moment of seeing and knowing Nanel drives Ithuriel up the walls because she loves her so much.

Nanel's Song Future Me Hates Me by The Beths "It's getting dangerous, I could get hurt, I know, I've counted up the cons, they far outweight the pros."

This is semi-foreshadowing, but Nanel knows that her and Ithuriel's relationship is forbidden, wrong (not cuz its gay necessarily,, 😭), and the way Ithuriel's heavenly role works means that their relationship status and every interaction outside of a required interaction is a risky game of one or both of them being punished and sentenced to death. But ! Nanel loves Ithuriel wayyyy too much to let how insanely dangerous their relationship is to get in the way of them loving and being with e/o.

Nirvana's Song 1999 by Beabadoobee "And I'm not wasting time again, closure instead of s^x, and I'm not wasting time again" Idk if I need to censor s^x but i am justttt in case...

Oof, Nirvana... Nirvana has always been sxually active, she's always had one-night-stands with other men, she's tried to continue things after that ONS, but it never works, she's tried to have relationships with women, but they just use her for s^x. She's tired of wasting time with people who just want her for her body, she's tired of s^x, she just wants, well, closure, she wants someone who will love her for her, she wants a relationship without s^x, or at least isn't s^x-focused, she just wants to know someone will love her past her body. Although aforementioned is all just a habit so she will unfortunately end up right back where she started and continue this uncomfortable and sad spiral.

[shxtodxroki]

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚁𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘 𝚂𝚞𝚗𝚊, 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙷𝚎 𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚈𝚘𝚞

Summary: From the moment you met him to now, there have been 4 times where you’ve fallen harder and harder for Rintaro Suna, until he "finally" falls for you as well.

Flufftober Day 5 Prompt: ___ + 1

Warnings: Brief mentions of gore (nothing is described, just a vague mention of a gory/graphic horror movie), reader is depicted as scared/uncomfortable of said horror movie

Pairing: Rintaro Suna x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Check out my full Flufftober masterlist here!

The first time you meet him is at work, and honestly, you've never seen a guy that hot in your life before.

It's been an incredibly boring shift at work, like all shifts are. You're working the typical high-school student job at your local smoothie bar, your head pounding from the sound of the blenders whirring behind you at full-speed, and haven’t even bothered to look at the door as you heard the bell chime to indicate a new customer. “Welcome in,” You mutter, doing your best to sound somewhat personable as you make your way over to the cash register. “What can I get for you today?”

When your eyes finally glance up at the customers your gaze is instantly drawn to one of the five men standing in front of you, watching in awe as he mindlessly stares at the phone in his hands and waits silently for his turn to order. He is without a doubt the cutest guy you’ve ever met, and you suddenly find yourself wishing your work uniform were just a bit more attractive-looking, though the boy in question had yet to even meet your gaze as he remains entirely focused on his phone.

You take each of their orders one by one, doing your best to smile and act like the perfect friendly cashier to each of the boys in hopes that they won’t notice how your eyes are irresistibly drawn to one boy in particular, though you’re unable to fight off the way your heart rate picks up slightly as he’s the last one left to order.

“Suna, your turn man.” The boy with silver hair nudges your newfound crush, and the boy in question finally looks up from his phone to meet your eyes.

“Oh, I’ll have the peanut butter chocolate smoothie, I dunno what it’s called though.” He mutters, eyes seeming disinterested as he stares at you, though a small smile tugs on the corner of his lips once he begins actually taking the time to observe your features.

“That’s fine, I know which one you’re talking about!” You smile just a bit brighter at him than you did towards the others, though you hope they don’t notice as you put his order into the system. “Will that be all for the five of you today?” You ask, forcing yourself to turn your attention to all of them rather than just the boy whose eyes are now stuck on you. One of the boys nods, pulling out his wallet as he steps up in front of the others.

“Yes, that’ll be it. I’ll be paying for the five of us.” He smiles softly, and you can see the faces of the other four light up in gratitude as they thank him one by one. “Don’t worry about it, it’s my job as captain.” He simply responds to them, before handing you his card.

Once their order has been paid for you direct the group to where the finished orders are called out, telling them to wait there as your coworkers get started on their drinks. Four of them easily follow your directions, with the two identical ones (twins, you assume) bickering as the other two chide them for acting out in a public place. You immediately take notice, however, of the fifth boy still standing in front of the register, your face heating up as you get a longer, up-close look at his undeniably beautiful face.

“...Is there anything else you needed?” You ask after a moment of silence between the two of you, using the same cheery customer-service voice in an attempt to mask how anxious you feel beneath his gaze that you can’t quite decipher. He cracks a small grin at that, before pulling out his wallet as he steps closer to you.

“Not really, I was just thinking…. I just got paid today, and since my drink was already paid for, why don’t I leave a nice tip for the sweet cashier with the pretty eyes?” He says this so nonchalantly as he pulls out a $20 bill, handing it to you with a relaxed grin as if he can’t see the way your heart is pounding out of your chest at his blatant flirting. “Don’t share it with any of your co-workers, though. That’s just for you.”

And with that he walks off to join his friends, not even giving you a chance to respond as you’re left dumbfounded and incredibly flustered in front of the cash register.

A few weeks later, when you return from summer break, you’re surprised (and mildly flustered) to realize that the incredibly cute, flirty boy from that day actually goes to your school, and you’re even lucky enough to have been placed in a few classes with him this year. You have no clue how you haven't noticed him before, stunned that you had missed out on seeing his pretty face for so long. He notices you on the first day, shooting you a cat-like grin as he enters first period late and makes his way to the last seat left open. But you don’t actually get to speak to him again until a few weeks later.

Once everyone’s settled into the new school year and classes are in full swing, one of your teachers assigns you a partner project, and you find yourself lucky enough to be partnered with Suna. You force the grin brewing behind your teeth back as the pairs are read aloud, not wanting to seem too eager, though you can’t help but grow flustered as he saunters over to you after class with the same relaxed grin you always see on his face. “How lucky am I, getting to work with the cutest person in this class?” He flirts as if it's as easy as breathing, and you force yourself not to overthink his words for the sake of the project.

Luckily for you, he seems to take the project fairly seriously, which is a surprise in comparison to his typically unbothered personality. You had been prepared to take on the majority, if not all, of the work yourself, knowing that it would likely sully your opinion of the admittedly gorgeous boy in the process. But somehow he had exceeded your expectations and sent you a suitable set of research for his half of the project well before the due date, giving the two of you plenty of time to prepare and practice your final presentation before the final presentation day. 

You know it would seem rude to outwardly admit how you had doubted him at first. You made a baseless assumption about him, one that would likely hurt an ordinary person’s feelings. Yet as you and Suna grow closer and more comfortable around one another through this project, you can’t help but let your internal monologue slip out one evening as you’re rehearsing your presentation late one night at the local library.

“You know, I’m really impressed with how hard you’ve worked on this.” You admit after running through your presentation so many times that you’ve practically memorized it word for word. Suna raises his eyebrow at your words, a curious smirk on his face as he pushes you for clarification though he's fairly sure he already knows what you mean.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that, you think I’d make you do all the work?” He teases, though it’s clear he’s not upset or hurt by the assumption even if he probably should be. You sheepishly look down at your fidgeting hands upon hearing his words, ashamed to admit how shallow you had been when you had first been assigned to this project with him.

“Sort of…. You seemed so laid back and unbothered all the time, so I guess I just assumed you’d be that way about your grades as well, and I’d end up carrying this project.” Your face is hot again, eyes avoiding his pressing gaze as your voice is soft with shame. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed that without even really gettng to know you.”

“It’s alright, I’m happy to prove you wrong.” He shoots back, keeping the mood light and relaxed as he eases your guilt ever so slightly. Days later once the project is over, however, you go to thank him for helping you to get an A on the final presentation and happen to overhear the boy in question chatting with his friends, their conversation telling an entirely different story than what he had impressed upon you.

“Dude, I can’t believe you got an A! How the hell did you do that?” His blonde friend questions, trying and failing miserably to whisper as you hide behind a corner to remain out of sight as your curiosity is piqued. “You never even turn shit in for that class, so what the hell?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get an A in your life. What gives?” The grey-haired twin adds on, their words only serving to confuse you. Before Suna can get in a response, however, the boy with the grey hair begins to smirk, as if he’s put the pieces together faster than you (and his blonde counterpart) could even begin to understand. “Oh, I get it. You wanted to impress your partner. They were the cute person from that smoothie place a few weeks back, yeah? I’ve seen you flirting with them after class the past few weeks.”

Though Suna’s attitude remains laid-back, simply insisting that he decided to be nice for the sake of your grade rather than his and there was nothing deeper to it, you could feel the butterflies zipping around your chest with more intensity than ever before as you silently made your way to your next class, face beaming in an irresistible grin. You fail to see the barely-there blush that dusts Suna's cheeks at the question, however, or the way he corrects the twins by insisting they use your name that slips off his tongue just a bit softer than everything else.

From there your relationship with Suna could only improve, moving steadily from acquaintances as you got to know each other over the course of the project into a genuine friendship as Suna kept in contact with you even after getting your final grade. He had texted you a few days after the project had ended, simply asking if you wanted to hang out after school with him, and since then the two of you have grown more and more comfortable in one another’s company just for the sake of it.

Days blurred into months, and somehow, you now found yourself walking beside Suna with a stomach full of convenience-store ramen as you made your way back to his house, the newly chilly air nipping at your fingertips and nose as you silently stewed in your past neglect to bring a scarf or gloves.

“Suna,” You start, to break the peaceful silence that had lingered between you two over the past several minutes as you walked. “Do you have Mario Kart? I wanna race you when we get back to your place.” Your question is a simple one, and you don’t expect the way he looks at you with an emotion you can’t quite decipher in response.

“Yeah,” He responds, though the tone of his voice and the way he’s looking at you makes it clear something else is on his mind. “But you know you don’t have to keep calling me by my last name, right? We’ve been friends for months now, just call me Rintaro.”

His words are as casual as ever, he plays them off easily as they fall form his lips with a blank expression though they send your poor, fragile heart into overdrive at the implications behind them. Not only had Suna never called you his friend before, but now he was asking you to call him by his first name, and while you knew that wasn’t a particularly intimate offer, it still had the butterflies caged deep within your chest fluttering wildly about as you did your best to play it cool as the heat on your face starkly contrasted the cool afternoon air. 

You should leave it there, you really should. Pushing his potential boundaries would risk your friendship altogether, and you never want to make him uncomfortable if you accidentally went overboard under the assumption that the two of you were closer than you truly were.

But you’re feeling greedy, even in the eyes of Suna- No, Rintaro- ’s friendly offer. So you decide to test the waters, see if you can take your budding friendship one step further.

“Hmm…. how about I call you Rin instead?” The grin on your face seems so at ease, playing it off as a simple suggestion. You had to act like you wouldn’t take it to heart if he said no, like it was nothing special. But you nearly betray yourself as your legs fall weak upon seeing him nod, watching a genuine smile spread across his face in response to your request.

“Sure, go ahead. I like the sound of my name from your pretty lips, however you wanna say it.” He has yet to cease his playful flirting, though it's less common now that the two of you have grown closer. Before you can get another word in, though, he manages to completely melt you to a puddle as he takes off his scarf and gloves, swiftly placing them on to you as the two of you continue walking towards his house. “Here, put these on. I can see you shivering, you clearly need them more than I do.”

You want to protest, to insist that he keeps himself warm since you were the one foolish enough to leave the house without warm attire, but you can’t find it in yourself to do so when his things feel so cozy, so perfect on your body. So you remain silent, settling with simply shooting him a thankful smile as you make your way to his house with warm hands, a warm face, and a positively burning heart.

From there things seem to stay the same, at least for a while. You’re well beyond the point of being able to plausibly deny your feelings for the man you now call your friend, but you’ve also managed to convince yourself that it’s nothing more than a simple crush that you’ll eventually grow out of as your friendship with him progresses.

Until the day when you realize you’ve lost your heart to him for good.

Your now blooming friendship with Rintaro has led you to develop a surprising friendship with the infamous Miya twins as well, a fact you still marvel at even as the four of you sit together on the twins’ living room couch, a plethora of snacks (and some of Osamu’s positively delectable cooking) laid out on the table in front of you as you move on to tonight’s third movie of the evening, Atsumu's pick this time.

Osamu manages to snag your attention for a moment as he explains to you the simple recipe for the homemade sushi he was kind enough to make for the four of you this evening (a recipe you most likely won’t try to emulate, but that you’re still thankful for nonetheless), so you miss the not-so-subtle wink Atsumu throws a disgruntled, annoyed Rintaro’s way as he chooses what movie to watch for his turn during this movie night.

Before you realize it, and much to Rintaro’s dismay, Atsumu’s quickly presses play on an incredibly gory, graphic horror movie, the sinister smile on his face causing the contents of your stomach to churn as you’re immediately put off by his choice in movies.

“What the hell, Miya?” Rintaro grumbles, unusually perturbed by something he’d typically react all too casually to as his eyes never leave your face which is currently twisting in discomfort. You don’t seem to catch the way the twin in question mouths ‘I did this for you’ to the man beside you, though it serves to deepen Rintaro’s scowl as he reluctantly turns to you.

“I’m sorry, I told him not to pick anything that would weird you out. I know you hate this stuff.” He apologizes, sounding shockingly sincere as he looks at you with a remorseful gaze. He knows that a seemingly perfect opportunity has been presented to him, though, and he can see the anxiety brewing in your stomach, so he chooses his next words surprisingly carefully as he slowly inches closer to you.

…”C’mere, let me try to make you feel a little better.” Rintaro mumbles, simultaneously scooting closer and pulling you towards him until you’re snuggled cozily into his side. The two of you have never been this close before, never genuinely cuddled like you are now, and the affectionate gesture wipes the gory movie completely from your thoughts as the scent of his cologne and the warmth of his skin fills up all of your senses. “If you’re too freaked out, I can kick him out and we can turn this off.”

Neither of you even bother to acknowledge Atsumu’s disgruntled “Hey!” in response to Rintaro's threat, his voice slipping into the ambient noise surrounding the two of you as you stare into one another's’ eyes. The disturbing movie isn’t the slightest concern to you any more, as it’s suddenly given you the perfect excuse to do what your heart has longed for with the man beside you, and you try to hold off a bit before rejecting his sweet offer in feigned nonclalance and reluctance. 

“...It’s okay, I feel better now that you’re here.” You mumble, trying not to sound utterly lovestruck as you tuck yourself further into his welcoming hold. But in that moment you can no longer convince yourself that this is nothing but a simple crush, struck by the forceful truth that you’re falling deeper and deeper for Rintaro every day you spend in your presence. “Thanks, Rin.” You mumble, ignoring the truth as you melt into his warmth and his touch.

“Any time, Y/n.” He whispers back, squeezing your side gently and your heart right along with it.

Though you’ve finally gained clarity on the true depth of your own feelings, Rintaro’s remain just as much of a mystery to you as ever. Since the first day you met him you’ve always assumed his flirting was mindless and playful, nothing more than a physical attraction that didn’t run any deeper for him like it did for you. He had taken root in your heart and blossomed from that very first day, encasing your lungs with infatuation, but you never believed his flirtiness to mean the same for his heart. Your growing friendship only strengthened this belief of yours, as he made no efforts to make a genuine move on you even as you grew closer and closer, and you had long ago let go of any hope of Rintaro returning your feelings as you were now content to enjoy the friendship you two had cultivated.

But then, just like always with Rintaro, New Year’s Eve brings forth a new development in your relationship, one that shakes your world and sends your heart into more of a frenzied fever than ever before and permanently altering the status of your relationship for the better.

He was looking for you, searching for you for quite a while in fact. The New Years Eve party the twins were holding at their house had quickly gotten a bit crowded for his liking, and he eventually found himself searching out the sole reason he had come to this party in the first place: you. At first he was simply meandering around, eyes glancing around for you as he kept on his usual nonchalant mask and made casual conversation with a few tolerable classmates. As the time drew closer and closer to midnight, however, his search grew more anxious, and when it was less than a minute to the new year he grew frantic as he felt the plan he had formulated for the evening crumbling beneath his very eyes without any sight of you.

His eyes widen with dread as his peers begin the traditional ten-second countdown, each number spiking the levels of stress coursing through him tenfold as he eagerly swims through the crowds in search of you. He had wanted to use this night as his chance to finally take the next step with you, but it seems that fate was not on his side this evening, blinding him to you in the mass of people enclosed in such a small space and instead leaving him crashing unceremoniously into a random partygoer, sending both of them tumbling to the floor as his hopes plummet all the way down into his feet.

“Three!” The crowd yells as his eyes fly open, two hearts nearly stopping at once as his eyes meet yours beneath him. Maybe fate hadn’t completely forsaken him after all.

“Two!” A genuine smile, not some sneaky smirk or grin, rapidly takes over his entire face, his minty breath wafting onto your skin as he leans down even closer to you. “Fancy seeing you here.” He teases, his hand fumbling out from under him as he hastily and clumsily cups your cheek in his palm.

“One!” His eyes meet yours as he leans in, seeking for confirmation, for consent that you were okay with this. And when you give him a small, almost imperceptible nod, he hands his heart over to you on a silver platter as your lips meet his for the first time and sparks all around ring in the new year. “Happy new year!” Echoes all around you from dozens of different voices, and it's in this very moment that you realize that Rintaro, your Rintaro, has been all yours from the very beginning, and that he had actually fallen from you from the very first day on, at the same exact moments that you had fallen for him.

Request - ⛄️ anon said: HELLOOO!!! i really hope you're doing well this week!!! i just came to tumblr and saw the flufftober post so i wanted to suggest three characters if nobody have suggested them already??? so, i have in mind suna rintarou (haikyuu!), bakugou katsuki (bnha) and/or historia reiss (snk)??? hope you would write something for one of them but if not that's totally fine!

A/N: Eeeee I was so excited when I got this request, I’ve been obsessed with this man ever since I first saw him and I was stoked to write about him! He’s so pretty omg I see why he’s so popular within the fandom <3 And I’ve always wanted to try writing one of these ___+1 fics so I really had a lot of fun writing this and I think it turned out super cute! :D Also I apologize for posting this way late in the day, somehow my saved post in my queue was deleted and I didn’t notice until way late, so I had to go back and re-edit everything once I got home from school! (This is what I get for proof-reading and editing in Tumblr I guess) Still made it in time though, so yay! I hope you guys still enjoyed this, and my requests are currently open so feel free to send any requests you have my way!

Taglist: @flufftober

If you’d like to be added to any of my taglists, you can fill out this form here! Thank you for your support <3

[dotmander]

How To Get Your Character Models Out Of A Game: Tips And Tricks For Bitches That Have Never Used Blender

(it's me, i'm bitches)

(also ignore how messy that lighting is it's 1am and i should have been asleep hours ago. he's there for proof of concept 💕)

a couple people (specifically @forsaken-constellation and @ratasum) asked for a tutorial on how to rip models out of the game. this is not that, but it is a compilation of resources i used to learn about ripping, blender, and 3d modeling in general. i desperately wanted a post like this to exist when i was trying to figure this out, so here we go! all the resources below are completely free, with the exception of a link to the patreon of the person that created ninjaripper.

disclaimers:

there are probably more efficient ways to do the things i am doing. i watched a tutorial to learn shortcuts and then skipped to character models. if you have tips to add, corrections to make, or other thoughts, please feel free to share! i'll link to your post here. ^^

i do not know if any of this will get your account banned. i've ripped several models, so i'm going to assume it's fine as long as you don't try to make money off of it. use your best judgment, be an adult, etc etc etc

last updated: june 30, 2024

PROGRAMS & WEBSITES

ninjaripper 1.7.1 - there's a newer version on the creator's patreon, presumably with support for newer versions of blender and fewer bugs, but i haven't tried that

blender 2.79 - the import addon that comes with ninjaripper 1.7.1 is outdated for the current version of blender (3.5 as of this post), so 2.79 is needed to combine the .RIP files into a .BLEND (blender) file

noesis - ninjaripper saves your textures as .DDS files, noesis lets you view them and export them as .PNGs

blender 3.5 (optional?) - i just like it better than 2.79. if you're completely new it might not matter to you. all of the tutorials linked later are for later versions, though.

mixamo (optional) - rigs your character for you and lets you put them in Situations (like my guy above.) there's a whole library of free animations and poses you can try!

TUTORIALS

how to use ninjaripper - most of what you need to know about actually ripping the files and using ninjaripper is covered here. do not skip this one.

how to use blender 3.5 - full disclosure i haven't finished this series because it's uhhhh many hours long. but if you are a complete newbie to blender, i do recommend at least the first few videos; you'll learn about shortcuts that will make your life easier, how to unfuck your model when it fucks itself for no reason, and different terms that will help you google things you don't know later on. possibly he even covers some of the things i'm about to link! anyway.

what's a uv map?

how to apply textures

how to apply bump maps (note: for our purposes, you wouldn't add a color ramp node, you would add an image node with your bump map, and attach it to the bump node as the person does in the video)

there should be stuff here about weight painting, cloth physics, emission maps (makes your sylvari glow), and other stuff, but um. i haven't figured those out <3  

TIPS

TURN UP YOUR GRAPHICS BEFORE YOU RIP - if you don't, you might end up missing certain textures/glows/etc. HOWEVER, you should turn animations down, because apparently high animation can make your meshes misplace themselves

rip from the character select screen, rather than an instance, because you will have 100 meshes to sort through instead of 1400. i am not exaggerating either of those numbers. if you are new to blender, please love yourself and start with character select.

your textures will be fucked up the first time you try to apply them. this is because the UV maps (the things that tell your textures where to go) of your models are flipped upside down in relation to the texture image. you can flip them back over manually, ooooor you can just flip the entire texture file in something like CSP or photoshop.

for some reason all eyes are red in the texture files. i have not figured out why. i recommend editing the .PNG to have the correct eye color before applying the texture.

that's all i can think of for now - if you have other questions, feel free to shoot them my way, although i can't promise i'll have a straight answer ^^;;

mixamo only works for humanoid characters with tight clothing (or without clothing at all). if you try to use it to rig a charr or asura, or someone with a skirt or big sleeves, you will most likely be disappointed.

2024 edit: sometimes parts of hair meshes just...disappear. i have no idea why. if you can figure it out please let me know LMAO

information from bookahlogy about character proportions, fixing normals, and other fun tips

[yankpop]

Yandere Kun (WayV): Being too overprotective during your pregnancy

Summary: Your “husband” wants your unborn baby to be healthy and for that, he’s willing to manipulate you until he gets what he wants.

This is a FICTION work only made for entertainment purposes so please don’t take any of this seriously. I do not support or encourage any type of abusive behaviour.

All copyrights belong to @yankpop (aka me) so do not post/translate my works on any other platforms without my consent/knowledge.

Check more: Masterlist.

WARNINGS: Implied kidnapping; forced pregnancy; intense manipulation; gaslighting; forced eating.

(Female reader)

AN: It a bit messed up but i still did it. Hope you guys like it and let me know 💖

-

"What's that?”

You hesitantly ask as you enter the kitchen. The kitchen counter fully decorated with colorful fruits that Kun keeps picking, putting them into the blender, creating a suspicious juice. Even the odd color manages to scare you. 

Kun gives you a bright open smile, rushing over to you. His hands immediately take a hold of you, one of them going to your swollen belly, making you slightly flinch.

Even after all this time, you still hate his touch. 

“Oh this? I’m just following the doctor’s orders.” he calmly says, carefully maneuvering your body to make you sit on a chair.

Your brows twist in confusion. You don’t recall the doctor saying something about fruit juices.

Kun notices your confusion, a small smile decorating his face as he leans on and places a small kiss on your forehead. 

“I asked the doctor for extra recommendations, just to make sure you and our precious baby will be healthy the entire time.” he elucidates you, his calming voice inciting the baby to start kicking, making you gasp in surprise.

Kun panics for a moment, his eyes going wide in concern, until he sees your hand going to rub your belly. He kneels down to the floor, his face at the same level as the growing bump. 

“Daddy’s here, princess. He’s gonna make sure that you’re safe and have all the vitamins that you need, baby.” Kun coos, his voice flooding with adoration as he presses small gentle kisses all over your stomach.

You merely stare at him, an emptiness filling you as you feel like you’re not even on your own body but more like someone who's watching the scene from afar.

One of the many coping mechanisms that you developed over your time with Kun.

You didn’t blame the baby but it didn’t stop you from dreaming what your life would’ve been if you had managed to get away from Kun before he got you pregnant. Not that he’d let you run away even if you didn’t want to stay with him.

You had already come to terms with the fact that you would never get away from him but lately hormones have been making your irrational fantasies of escaping grow stronger.

“I also got you more vitamins, later I’m  gonna make a schedule for when you have to take them.” Kun declares, looking above towards you. His words make you huff in annoyance, his controlling personality starting to bug you immensely. 

He ignores your action, going back to the counter and grabbing a juice filled glass and handing it to you. You gaze at the peculiar shade of green of the juice, hesitating before bringing it to your lips.

Taking in a small sip, you immediately gag with the liquid, spitting it back to the glass and putting it back on the counter.

“Ew, it tastes so bad.” 

Kun only sighs at your reaction, once again grabbing the glass and returning it to you, his hand coming to your back, rubbing small comforting circles.

“I know it doesn’t taste great, but it’s a small sacrifice you have to make for the baby.” 

Your brows narrow in exasperation, crossing your arms above your baby bump you shoot back at him.

“I already take 3 different types of vitamins, I don’t think the baby needs much more. You’re just going overboard with this, Kun.” Your words don’t have much effect over Kun but you definitely notice his fingers tightening around the glass cup. 

“Look, this is all for the baby, darling. Don’t be such a bad mom that can’t even put our baby’s health over your own comfort.”

Your mouth drops as his words hit you hard. You aren't being a bad mom. You aren't. Right?

“Yes, you are.” Kun says, almost like he’s reading your mind. He tilts the glass into your direction.

“Just drink it. Cause if you don’t and our daughter is born with any type of health problems, I’m blaming you for it.” He concludes without so much of a blink, making you doubt yourself.

Your mind runs through various scenarios and as much as you hate Kun and his overprotective nature, maybe he was right and the baby really needed this. 

Reluctantly picking back the glass, you drink small sips of the liquid, constantly gagging back on its taste yet forcing it down your throat. From your peripheral vision, you see Kun giving you a satisfied smile, his hand coming back to rub your back, somewhat making you feel better as you keep consuming the nasty drink.

The disgusting flavor burns your throat as you force it down. 

“You're doing great, honey. Just a few more sips and you’re done.” Kun incentives you, his eyes attentive towards you.

After a few more bitter and agonizing gulps you finally end the whole glass, immediately pushing the glass away from you. Kun’s features morph into a pleased expression, his hand coming to your stomach to lovingly caress the bump. 

“See, it wasn't that difficult, was it? I’m glad you were reasonable enough to not jeopardize our baby’s health.” You turn your eyes away from him, unable to look at him.

You know that the reality is that Kun is a master in manipulation and that you just fell for another of his tricks, this time using your own child as leverage to manipulate you. 

You hate him. 

----

⚠ Please reblog and comment, if you liked this.

It means a lot :)

-

Tags:

@mwitsmejk

[kurigohan0909]

putting yoon hye-jin and hong du-sik in a blender, and miraculously, out comes haikaveh

author's notes for my heart is an old house, where i attempt to remix Hometown Cha-cha-cha into a haikaveh AU because i like to combine my obsessions. this time it comes with beach vibes and professional-personal quarter-life crises.

on one hand, yoon hye-jin. clever, fiercely hard-working and incredibly ambitious. her mother passed away when she was a kid and she never recovered from the hurt, and could never come to terms with her father's remarriage either. high income, high spending, high financial anxiety. overly concerned with how people think of her. touchy and quick to take offence, but also intensely guards her own emotions. individualistic, introverted and self-reliant to a fault. pragmatic and rational. usually disliked or avoided by people because of her aloof exterior. refuses to go the extra mile for anybody else's sake, but will nevertheless stand up for her principles at any cost (see: quitting her job because her boss asked her to overcharge an elderly patient). city girl, out of touch with reality. socially elite and aware of it. the "pride" half. likes very few people, but once she loves you, she'll do anything for you. sharp words and acts of service. caring to the point of being overbearing. often lacks sensitivity. unquestioningly loyal. an egoist made out of isolation who longs to love someone unconditionally despite not thinking herself capable of it. her arc is about making space in her heart for people and things beyond herself.

on the other hand, hong du-sik. naturally brilliant, laid-back, and living 'below his potential'. orphaned young and brought up by a grandfather who died when he was a teenager. low income, high savings, frugal but comfortable lifestyle. couldn't care less how people think of him. easygoing and thick-skinned, but also highly opinionated. values community; depends on others and lets others depend on him. philosophical and spontaneous. beloved by all on account of his affable demeanour. quick to help everyone around him, even at his own inconvenience; but he does have strong boundaries that he won't cross regardless of the stakes (see: refusing to look after the neighbourhood kids' hamster because of his own undisclosed hangups). village boy, feet firmly planted on the ground. has lived at both ends of the social class spectrum and scorns the entire concept. the "prejudice" half. friends with everyone, but a cautious and closed-off lover. has believed himself responsible for his loved ones' deaths for years. struggles to connect on an emotional level. an altruist made of guilt who longs to be loved unconditionally despite believing he doesn't deserve it. his arc is about making space for himself in a heart too full of other people and things.

have i mentioned how much i love the supporting cast of HTCCC? if you want the sarcastic mom friend/pedantic law enforcer side ship (cynonari) then mi-seon and eun-cheol are right there. I don’t see any parallels in any of the other side characters, but the large-ensemble feeling of small-town life is definitely something i want to harness in this fic.

one day, i'll get around to finishing it. maybe next year. until then, i'll be rewatching the drama "for inspiration", and falling in love with gongjin all over again each time.

[erikahenningsen]

spf for the shady fic?

Cady looks dubiously at the razor. “What is that?”

“It’s for your eyebrows.”

“What’s wrong with my eyebrows?”

“I just want to clean them up a bit,” Regina says. She runs the razor under Cady’s eyebrows, giving them a more distinct shape, before plucking a few stray hairs. Cady yelps at each one, like Regina is giving her electric shocks. Regina tries not to roll her eyes. Brows finally… acceptable, Regina squeezes primer onto her fingertips and starts to spread it over Cady’s face. Cady’s faces scrunches up a bit, and Regina sighs.

“Cady, you have to hold still, or it’s gonna look like shit,” Regina tells her.

“Sorry,” Cady murmurs. “It’s sticky.”

“It’s primer. It will help keep your makeup on,” Regina explains. “It’s always way too hot in the gym, and if you’re dancing, you’re going to sweat.”

“Okay,” Cady says, pursing her lips together, like that will help her stay still.

Regina pumps the lightest shade of foundation she has onto the back of her hand and dips the large end of her beauty blender in it. She holds one hand under Cady’s jaw to steady her, and is momentarily distracted by how soft Cady’s skin is. She doubts Cady moisturizes; Cady is probably one of those girls who could wash her face with dish soap and never have a breakout.

For some reason, Regina feels an irrational flare of anger. Cady, with her perfect skin and slim body and shiny hair, just waltzed into North Shore and tried to take Regina’s boyfriend. Well, her ex-boyfriend, but still! And as soon as Regina took Aaron off the market, Cady went after Shane. Regina really should just kick Cady out of her room—out of her house, out of her life entirely, before Cady tries to, like, take Regina’s seat at her family’s dinner table, too.

But Regina hasn’t. Can’t. Won’t. No, it’s better to keep her in Regina’s inner circle, to keep an eye on her. If Cady wants to stab Regina in the back, she’ll have to do it from the front.  

“Regina? Are you okay?”

Regina blinks, remembering where she is and what she’s doing. “Yeah. Why?”

“You were just, like, staring at me,” Cady mumbles, chin still in Regina’s hand.

“I’m fine.” Regina resumes dabbing foundation into Cady’s skin. She should have really put on music or something; it’s too quiet in here. The sound of Cady’s breathing is kind of starting to make her feel crazy, hyperaware of her own breathing. Is Regina breathing too loudly? Too hard? She kind of feels like her heart is beating a little faster.

[cartoonguy08]

So I saw this one board thing a while ago and I thought it’d be fun to do it just cuz, and also so you guys know me a bit better 🤙 (I should probably do that one pinned post where people intro themselves huh?)

More detail if you want, as well as the board I used to do this with 👍

Movie - Hunchback of Notre Dame: Guys this movie is my everything and my childhood I was TERRIFIED of it as a kid but now I watch it and admire every aspect of it every SPEC and crumb of this movie is everything to me. The animation to the soundtrack to the characters to the backgrounds—OMG CAN I MENTION THE BEAUTIFUL BACKGROUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE JESUS—everything, absolutely everything of this movie is beloved by me ESPECIALLY my all time favorite villain Claud Frollo, guys, I LOVE (HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE ABSOLUTELY HATE HIM I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A BLENDER SO BAD OMG YES TAKE HIM TO HELL GUYS I HATE THIS GUY I HATE HIM SO MUCH 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️) him so much you wouldn’t believe I am an absolute SUCKER for characters who are just the shittiest people ever and that are villains and that deserve everything that happens to them because they are massive hypocrites. Did I mention why I love Claud Frollo?

Hobby - Drawing: In general, I try and draw as much as I can. I’m pretty busy with school and friends and life in general but I will never pass up a moment to just doodle silly cartoon shit. I love cartoons, they are everything to me, and I will give me life to become in animator holy shit. I love it, I’ve been loving it since I was born dawg 🤙

Animal - Rhino: Literally no explanation for this except I love how majestic and cool asf they are. I went to the zoo once and I couldn’t stop admiring them guys, they’re absolutely gorgeous.

Character - Soldier: No specific Soldier for this cuz I love both of them. I wish he was real because I would die to meet him lol. My entire personality in a nutshell 💀 He is my life, he spins in my head on the daily and he makes me love being American lmao (RIP Rick May, you made such a lovable character, fly high man)

Color - Mustard Yellow: I have a beanie the same color as this and legit it made me love the color. That and I love mustard in general

Place - Quiet library: AND I MEAN QUIET, I love being social with people but sometimes I just wanna be left alone. Dawg, the library at my school is the shit, it’s so quiet in there and I can sit on a sofa and just chill. Great to relax 👍

Season - Winter: Unfortunately for me I live somewhere that does not snow at all. Which kinda sucks- BUT it sprinkle some snow every one and a while. It’s also just not about the snow but the weather, I like the breezy feel, the chilliness of it all. I can wear hoodies and beanies and my kickass baggy pants lol. And the blankets. My grandma got me this one comforter that’s immaculate, very comfortable, very soft. Love my grandma 🤙❤️

Song/Album - Void in Blue: WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH THIS SONG? The feeling I get actually has me ascending bro. The background instrumental the LYRICS THE ECHO, OMG THE ECHO THOUGH- my favorite part of any song is if it has an echoey effect to it, and THIS nails every part in the song. It’s great, please guys give it a listen it’s so good it’s like crack to me I listen to it on the DAILY

Food - Root beer Floats: I know technically it’s a drink but you could still eat it with a spoon, so I’d say it counts 👍 Anyways this shit is the bomb, love Rootbeer in general by FLOATS?? Amazing, I could eat them everyday if I could because they’re so good. Very refreshing. One time I actually went to Denny’s and asked if they had one and a nice waitress made me one lol, very sweet hole she’s going good 🙏 Also fun fact: I tried it in middle school and it became my LIFE

Pretty sure that’s all? Yeah that’s all. Thanks for reading if you wanted to, now you know a bit about me heh. Hope everyone’s having a good day 🤙🤙

[09lover]

@mulberriesandtea vs @burstvoid

propagandas under the cut!!

MULBERRIESANDTEA / 04DISSECTION

PROPAGANDA FOR KRIS MULBERRIESANDTEA also known as 04dissection

Do you want to see somrjing beautiful? Do you want to rest your eyes a bit after scrolling throufh this dull tumblr dash filled with all sorts of unhinged things. Or mayhaps you jsut opened your tumvlr app after a long day of seeing enough in the real world. I got you.

Look at this pretty blog. Warm, welcoming, soothing color palette. They have a very aeathetically pleasant tagging system on top of that. Okay but this is only the mobile version.

Look at this SICK desktop version. It can be warm and tender but it can be absolutely FUNKY. The decoration of this blog perfectly captures the personality of this multifaceted individual. As you see their blog is also surrounded with muu which may influence your decision in different ways however it's undoubted that their dedication is truly impressive and inspiring for the whole fandom. Stare at it for long enough snd you can feel the growing urge to decorate your entire blog around your fsvorite character.

They also have CAT(!) and can send us cat pixtures. A splendid example that will render you speechless:

their other talents include, but are not limited to:

🔥 DRAWING

✏️ MAKING MILGRAM ANALYSIS

❣️ BEING DEDICATED TO MILGRAM WOMEN

🔎 CREATING THEIR OCGRAM

📍 MAKING THE PHONEGRAM DRAWING THAT LED TO THE MILGRAM SMART FRIDGE MEME. Can you imagine? If not for Kris' art achievements we might jave never had that ezxtrmeely impoetant part of the milgramblr daily life. Their input to our culture is inseparable and incomparable.

Takr this all in mind and vote for kris mulberriesandtea 04dissection ONLY TOMORROW! (or today i guess depending on when this will be posyed)

— PROPAGANDA BY TSUMI!!

+ https://youtu.be/WhtpH3BciDY?si=7y1m7EZxt0s4Vxqw

————

BURSTVOID

PROPAGANDA FOR PUPA BURSTVOID

Now you might see the moots battle and feel torn on how to vote. there are so many options, so many marvelous talents to consider. Puzzled, you nevertheless want to commit your voting duty as a proper eslover followers citizen.

May I perhaps interest you in this limited edition PATHETIC CREATURE?

they're a jirai kei patheticgirl. they're an ouji loserboy. They once cried in my dms brcause they didnt want to accepr they relate to fuuta even though they had fuuta pfp the first time we met. They're the jackalope pfp star on milgramblr christmas tree. they're a cat with four (!) beauitufl strong women cats living in their house and one gay ass male cat coming to their house unprompted. They might be kind enough to show you photos of all of these beautiful strong women (!!!).

their size is PERFECT to be put in a blender (80x60 cm). Their texture is suitable to get soaked in milk and only becomes better with it if applied in moderste amoubts (recommended to soak rhem 1 liter of milk per day). they make a splendid thump sound once thrown at a wall.

Their other hideen talents include DRAWING, WRITING, OC CREATION, SINGING and INFODUMPING PEOPLE ON POLITICS. An astonishingly versatile individial.

this is what they look like ↓

don't these big wet eyes captivate you?

this LIMITED EDITION PATHETIC CREATURE can bring a lot of coziness and fun to your house. Be sure to be online and vote for them available only TOMORROW!

— PROPAGANDA ALSO BY TSUMI!!

and that is all, enjoy your voting for round 1.

[ophernelia]

this community has an issue with the whole copying thing. cute, okay. we're beyond that point. i feel like a lot of those issues can be mitigated by simply giving people their flowers. yeah, we all use the same cc and stuff. it's public. but who introduced you to it? who put you on? who made you wanna step up your content? i'll go first! (there's so many people so i'll do a few and will absolutely do more if y'all want.)

i love madi. y'all already know. miss farfallasims has completely funded my entire cc folder. i have downloaded every single cc rec. adore her. adore her gameplay. lovely lovely lovely.

the people's princess, ashley, has made me step up the quality of my game ad my content. aashwarr is the it girl for high quality eveything. i don't know how she does it. it's magic. that hd, clean, clear, and crisp look is mwah chef's kiss. again, adore her. adore her content.

jake, my love, absolute visionary. made me wanna step up my content. especially with lykaia. simstwink is a true and genuine creative. i'm obsessed. the world building. the immersion!!

cid, the architect of my dreams! the builds!! omg. made me wanna put more effort into my builds and practice building more. cowboycid is my favorite cowboy and my favorite sim's architect.

also the architect and interior decorator of my dreams is miss jayel. bbygyal123 is my build icon. her aesthetic is to die for, i kid you not. made me wanna try harder with decorating, though i still suck at it lol.

now yall know it's not possible for me to even make this list and not mention twin. indie is literally one of my favorite people on this site lmao. crsentfairy eats downnnn with the sims. she literally made the love of my life (lloyd, duh. yall know that's my man.) i've been trying with cas, but all my sims suffer from same face syndrome.

as far as machinima making, i say this every time, but trapgoddessshawty is the main i gave making lykaia a shot. higher learning has had a chokehold on me since it came out. the storytelling, the world building. i try to be as meticulous with lykaia as i can because of tgs. machinima royalty.

the same can also be said for hart! i was in love with simlivncolor. it was hart that introduced me to tgs lol. this series had me so captivated. and i am so happy that hart is still working on it but fully made in blender and it's called gemini. she shows her progress in making it over on twitch. i try to catch her stream whenever i can. i would wait eons for this show. it was that good!

anyway, i don't think there's anything wrong with learning from your peers or being motivated by them. i do think we could all do a better job at giving each other their props. it's well deserved. this community has so many amazing creatives.

[acurlygirlamy1]

Written by a old friend...

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

People have asked me what's it like to live life with a deceased child because they "just can't fathom"... Well let me do my best to explain it in a way that can be understood.

It's being dead but still being able to breathe, barely.

It's like having your entire world thrown into a blender and mixed up to a liquid. Having your heart and lungs ripped out of your body so violently and never put back. Leaving a hole in your chest that will never heal and seeps pain, tears, anger, hate and regret.

It's like living in a dream that you can never wake up from, except it's a freaking nightmare. A life long freaking nightmare.

It's like having a large glass jar filled with happiness and you drop it on the ground and all the happiness blows away in the wind to never return.

It's like having a million people around hugging and loving you but you still feel completely alone. Going from having people to talk with to having not one person message or call anymore because they don't know what to say to you ... at all, about anything...

It's standing in the kitchen cooking food for the ones still here and crying so hard you can't see yourself burning the food.

Some days its falling to the floor, screaming so hard that no sound comes out and you run out of breath but don't stop screaming until you are hyperventilating and dizzy.

It's a a million little demons battling one single tiny angel in your brain, testing to see if youre strong enough or not to survive this.

It's like always trying to convince yourself that people want you around even though you feel like youre just a placement for convenience in this world and in people's lives.

Honestly. It's like knowing that your going to die eventually and embracing it with open arms like a long lost friend.

It's like this picture below of you holding on with everything you have and feel it all melt away.

No it doesn't get better. It doesn't get easier. You just learn to live, to survive.

Angie B

*one of my good friends lost her 22 year old son to suicide 2 years ago. People still talk to her about it constantly...please read the above and remember everyone processes things differently.

[bryce-bucher]

.50 Caliber 3D Platformer Post #5

(Flashing Lights Warning near the bottom of the post)

UI UI UI UI UI:

I've been working on UI mostly the past couple of weeks. It has been, as usual, both very cool & fun but also hell and evil. To be more specific, I really like designing the visual aspect of UI, but implementing it is always so horribly tedious and boring that it is really hard for me to focus on doing it. Without fail, I always end up getting UI done very slowly because of this. I am really happy with what I've got so far though, and it has brought me one step closer to getting to the point where I can just start hashing out levels.

Making the Health UI:

The health UI was something I was extremely excited about implementing, so I eagerly decided to decide that it was time to make it. Let me step u through the process 4 fun.

For me, it always starts with sketching out something crudely in pen. I've had this sketch done for months now, so it was p cool to see it finally come to life in game.

Next I hopped into blender and began trying to make some kind of cool y2k-era greebled out shape, but making detailed machinery (or details in general) is not my strongsuit, so I ended up with this kinda neat smooth shape that I wasn't entirely happy with. It looked cool, but I really wanted to challenge myself to make something closer to the windows media player skins I was inspired by.

More Specifically, I referenced this Half-Life 2 windows media player skin heavily, and started with a ring that I could build little pieces and wires off of. I hope u can forgive me if I maybe made it too similar lol, but I tried to get creative and put my own spin on it. I think the shapes on the top left are the most similar to my reference, and those are not-so-coincidentally the first bits that I modeled. This is my first time modeling something in this style, and I suspect that I'll get better at it if & when I do it again.

Finally, I slapped some materials on, made a texture for one of the faces I had sketched out, and rendered out a few frames of it gently(ish) flashing. I then went into affinity photo and made little speedometer components to slot into the small circle in the top right and programmed some functionality to it. The plan is to have the face represent the player's current health, so I am going to need to make a few more and then animate it rotating into a different face. But yeah, I am super happy with it, and I think it is lookin p sick!

Other Stuff What I Made:

Other than the health UI, I also added in functionality and UI for completing a level and selecting a level.

I was very much inspired by killer7 for the sequence that plays when you shoot your target, and I am addicted to intense flashing lights, so I included a lot of that. There are already accessibility options to turn that off, so if it's something that could harm u or if you just hate it (coward????!!!11) you can disable them. I've always found intense effects like that very cathartic, so I'm probably gonna include similar visuals in a few different things I make. That being said, I do also always want to make the alternative visuals (when the accessibility options are enabled) to also be cool af and get the point across. The level select screen was also really fun to make, I basically just slapped together some textures of warn-out paper into a little files situation and placed that on top of an abstract background that I made in jwildfire.

Conclusion:

I have honestly really loved working on this so far, but there has been a lot of anxiety about money in my life lately, so I really do hope to get this out in a reasonable time. I feel like I say that a lot about this game, but it is because it's always on my mind unfortunately. I don't want to make it sound like I am making this game entirely for money or w/e though, it is definitely a labor of love. Anyways, I hope to get to a point where I can get some environment art done soon, and I cannot wait to show off whatever this game is gonna look like. Have a nice day every1!